Janey s announcement makes the Harpers more festive, but complications, of course, set in, beginning with her fiancé
Lucy is stressed. She has an important speech to make at a Recruitment Conference and nobody to help her write it. Lee sees an opportunity to impress her and offers his services but at the expense of Tim, who also thinks he s the best man for the job. Wha
Mary tells Julian how she finally found her voice, while Thomas decides he must finally kick his Alison addiction. Old friends of Mike share the surprising secret to their success.
Ben is unhappy with his lot, but is even less happy with Susan s book-writing house guest. Perhaps the Brotherhood of the Cockerel has the answer.
Thermoman faces his biggest challenge yet. After Janet washes his superhero outfit in biological detergent which make him itch, an book from his home planet says that he mustn t have sex more than once a month. But worst of all, Piers knows George s secre
When the children go away for the weekend, Ben and Susan finally have some time to themselves. Unfortunately, it s been so long since that happened, that they have absolutely no idea how to spend it.
In an attempt to impress Lucy with his intellectual prowess, Lee joins Daisy as a contestant on the TV quiz show Pointless.
George has had very little time to rest.(too many rescues.) Janet urges him to rest. Olly is sick and George keeps flying home to check on him before flying away again. As George tires, he flies slower and a reporter tracks him to the flat where he takes
As a lonely and meaningless retirement beckons after 25 years on the force, the boys are given the task of finding The Black Widow after a series of gruesome lonely hearts murders.
Lee and Lucy are going to a pantomime the following day. Lee gets irritated that Lucy s crush Jason Donovan is starring in it. The night before Lee has a disturbing dream that he s in a pantomime starring of course Jason Donovan.
The Piglet Files - Sweet and Sour Piglet
Inspector Fowler proposes to Sergeant Dawkins so as to help his chances for promotion, but his lack of sensitivity during the proposal prompts her to leave him instead. Fowler tries to find a new woman, but loses his interest when he hears that Dawkins is
Thursday 23rd December 1999: Bren s past has caught up with her and it looks as though she and Tony are off the menu as far as romance is concerned, causing her to contemplate handing her notice in.
Ruth, an Australian friend of Kate s, comes to stay and Lee is persuaded to pretend to be Tim. Lee gets a job handing out leaflets at a shopping centre, but soon falls foul of a local youth.
Susan decides to get another dog but when she is considered unsuitable to adopt by the dog adoption assessor, Susan loses her cool, and as a result, it is Ben who ends up in the doghouse.
Monday 7th February 2000: The new self-clear system does not find favour with Bren, Petula delivers some shocking news, and Tony is making plans.
Sebastian helps with an important visit from the Italian Prime Minister, and Vicky Pollard goes back to school.
Ben s old friendship with a celebrity dentist causes problems, while Susan finds a new friendship at an Albanian airport and her loyalty to Ben is put to the test.
When Susan tries to help out a chronically unemployable Nick, her plan turns out to be disastrous, Janey brings a different boy home every day, and Ben has problems with his assistant.
According to Susan, abstinence makes the heart grow fonder and she decides that she and the girls should abstain from even the slightest physical contact with men for three weeks in order to spice up their sex lives, but will Abi take it too far?
With the BandB gone, Mike anxiously strives to fix their finances, but its April Fools Day, and a distracted Alison is out for revenge. The couple receive some life-changing news.
While Tony is in hospital having treatment, the staff are forced to suffer his formidable replacement.
There is good news for Dennis, and Marjorie Dawes bumps into Paul while out shopping.
Ben s attempt to deposit some money into his bank coincides with someone else s decision to take some out - with the aid of sawn-off shotguns. When Ben decides to act as the negotiator things look bleak for the hostages.
Having run over Mr Casey s dog some years ago, Ben now compounds the misdemeanour by running over Mr Casey himself. Casey plays the sympathy card for all it is worth - and it seems that it may be worth quite a lot.
After Grandad s funeral, Delboy and Rodney are surprised to find that his brother, Uncle Albert, has moved in with them - bringing his nautical nightmares.
Boycie and Abdul pitch a diamond scam to Del Boy, who immediately turns them down. That is until they offer him a £15,000 cut of the estimated £150,000 sale of the stone on the UK market. Del finds himself designated as the courie...
Friday 9th April 1999: The canteen is being painted over the weekend. But when the decorators arrive early, Bren has to cope with all manner of inconvenience.
It s Christmas Eve and the entire family is coming over to enjoy the imminent festivities. Everyone has the best intentions, but stress levels gradually rise, and there s seemingly only a matter of time until an epic blowout.
When Briggs and Louis investigate an attack on a top figure skater, the pair wind up on ice but fail to gain marks for artistic interpretation.
Alisons attempt to win over their posh new neighbours with a swanky dinner party are thrown into chaos by Marys woeful catering and Robins desire to celebrate the lunar eclipse.
Jean trys to help Lionel come up with a plan to get rid of Ms. Flack. While Ms. Flack decides to move away to her sister s.
Having lost their appetite for Food Club, the ghosts trial some new entertainment inspired by Pat. Disaster strikes as Mike and Alison host an important guest at Button House.
When Lee s feckless dad, Frank, announces his engagement, Lee cannot believe that any woman would want to marry him and sets out to find out exactly what is wrong with her.
Alison and Mike are trying to find a semi-harmonious routine with the ghostly housemates of Button House. The ghosts have found a way to make their new situation work for them, while the couple are working towards a new money-making venture.
Bren s mum, Petula, brings shame on the factory when she acquires a new boyfriend.
Ben s uncle Norris dies, leaving him less than he expected, and instead Susan benefits. Later, the wake is held at the Harpers, but will it go smoothly?
Jean s sister-in-law decides to move in with her and Lionel after she finds out her husband is having an affair. Actually he being so secretive because he is planning a surprise anniversary party for her.
Alison and Mike grapple with the latest obstacle to nailing down an event booking, but theyre stymied by the Captains past coming back to haunt him.
To celebrate their anniversary, Lee and Lucy plan a friendly night of quizzing with Toby and Anna in their local pub, but the evening is derailed when neither couple can bear to lose to their partners and the foursome splits into rival teams.
Susan asks Ben to help an old girlfriend of hers, Mona, through a divorce, but nearly causes her own when Mona tells Ben some surprising tales about Susan. Elsewhere, Roger is feeling down until Janey intervenes.
Fowler and Grim clash over their views of handling juvenile troublemakers so they decide to take them on a retreat. Further tension arises when Goody punches a teenage skinhead for racially abusing Habib and is subsequently charged for assault.
When they discover a man living in a tent on their grounds, Alison and Mike, with the ghosts help, learn that they have more to offer this Christmas than they realised.
The Piglet Files - Sex, Spies and Videotape
Ben and Susan take part in Michael s school fundraising auction. However, Ben quickly regrets making a pledge when he spies a former patient with severe halitosis bidding for a double session in his dentist s chair.
Ben starts a one-man anti-cycling campaign which causes chaos in the household. Meanwhile, Susan has Michael photograph semi-naked men for a calendar in order to contribute to her fundraising.
Thermoman reveals his double identity to Janet s parents, in an attempt to gain their favour, but her mother can t keep a secret.
Kenzo s school project about the family gives everyone a chance to look at some of the crazier moments in the Harper history.
George and Janet have a new addition to the family: Cassie. She can see into the future. However, shortly after birth, she has horrible premonitions that everyone on the Northern hemisphere is going to die! Meanwhile, Piers enters for ""I m A Celebrity: G
George is puzzled by the British love of pets - until his mother-in-law s dog explains it all. However, talking to animals is not normal behaviour, and the conversation lands George in hot water
George has some initial trouble getting to grips with the notion of sport when he is asked to join a cricket team, to help Piers out. Mrs. Raven gets intimate with Tyler after becoming convinced that he is her hero Thermoman. Ella belittles Thermoman - wh
Del Boy gets the chance to make a new start (and to become a millionaire) in Australia - fronting Jumbo Mills s used car business.
Dafydd is in denial at the hairdressers while Vicky appears in court.
Susan is bored with her lot and decides to run her life as a single girl again by swapping places with Janey for a week, who takes the opportunity to try running the home with a husband who is less than perfect.
When a German damsel turns up in the Nag s Head, she s definitely in distress - and nine months pregnant at that. Rodney s all beer and sympathy, but Del s got an idea - could this be the answer to Boycie and Marlene s dreams of a child and a golden oppor
After Lionel walks in on Sandy in the bathroom Jean decides to add a second bathroom. But, things don t go as planned.
Lee brings a battered box back from the tip and gets a shock when he opens it in front of Lucy.
Craig, a young Australian, arrives at the house, claiming his mother was at college with Ben and Susan lets him stay in exchange for doing some decorating. Initially irritated by him, Ben starts to worry when it looks as if Craig could be his illegitimate
Social niceties are stretched to snapping point when Lee and Lucy take in a package for their neighbour and inadvertently discover that it contains an embarrassing object that Lee now has to return. That proves to be easier said than done.
Alistair surprises everyone by announcing his engagement to someone he just met named Mercury. Judy s new boyfriend Paul lies to her and she breaks up with him. Jean wishes Alistair and Judy would get back together.
Alison and Mike invite Barclay to discuss the land sale but are quickly forced to play hardball. Meanwhile, the ghosts become fixated on solving the mystery of Kittys death.
In a desperate bid to prove his manliness, Lee joins Tim, Daisy and Lucy on a camping weekend in the middle of a dark spooky forest.
After mixing their drinks at the policemen s ball, Louis and Briggs confront a new horror involving a flasher, a Marquess and the commissioner s wife.
After a night of partying, Alison and Mike scramble to clean up the house for a venue viewing, and Alison tries to find out why the ghosts are acting so strangely.
Ben is appalled to discover that Martin, the benign elderly widower from next door, is besotted with Susan and has built a shrine to her in his kitchen. Whilst Ben has trouble persuading the police, Martin ties Susan to a chair and proposes to her.
Parents Ben and Susan reluctantly agree to let daughter Janey have a party whilst they are away on holiday - and plan to sneak back unnoticed into the house and check up on the children, just to be on the safe side.
When forced to transfer into the Fine Arts Squad, our heroes are despatched to recover the latest artistic creation of enfant terrible Hadyn Smailes - a pair of maracas, a tin of peaches and a fish tank of the artist s own urine.
Lee spends time in the bar with Toby worrying that the woman of his dreams is drifting further away.
The big day at Button House has arrived, but some freak weather disrupts everyones plans.
Susan employs a cleaner, who turns out to be such a treasure that she takes over the cooking as well - much to the family s delight, and to Susan s chagrin.
Rodney s in love with Debbie from the newsagents. Could this mean the end of his dirty magazine fetish? Trouble is she s only 19, and 19 1/2 years ago Del was pretty friendly with her mum...
Andy wants a snake, and unscrupulous hypnotist Kenny Craig has some videos for sale.
George looks into the mind s of people and discovers what they are really thinking. He is not at all happy about it and Janet gets him out of it once again and none too gently.
Alison has invited Lucy to come to Button House for a sleepover, but after a concerning meeting with the solicitor, Alison must work out if Lucy is really who she says she is.
Our heroic couple find out that they re pregnant in this episode. As part of the pregnancy George endows Joyce with Ultronian powers, which she the uses to go about saving the day. The sub plot is Mrs. Raven convincing Piers that he is going to be on ""
Just as Lionel is getting used to his new leisurely lifestyle, Jean steps up her pace at work and home. Jean decides to see a psychotherapist to help her with wanting to stop working but, not wanting to ""retire"".
When the ghosts try to sabotage Alisons makeshift therapy session for Kitty, they unwittingly face their own demons. And Mikes desire to see the ghosts yields surprising results
When George buys a car and ups the offered price and then takes reponsibility for an accident that was obviously Piers fault, Janet trys assertiveness training, which promptly fails.Piers is frustrated by his lack of success with women and, when Mrs. R
Del sets Rodney up with a date, but when she gets to the do at the Nag s Head she makes Rodney wish he hadn t.
Gasforth Football Club is about to play Premiership team Chelsea, and Mayoress Wickham orders Fowler and his officers to personally see to it that nothing goes wrong in exchange for her recommending him for an MBE. However, things get complicated when the
George and Arnie discover a way to filter out prejudices in peoples brains. This sounds like a good idea until the brains get muddled up
Kate tries clown classes after unsuccessfully getting Lee to go to them. You couldn t really call her own attempts a success. To repay Kate Lee goes on a date with Lucy Moss, an author whose book, about her turbulent life, was published by Kate s company.
Sketches:Indian Office,Check Please - Fat,What does it mean to be a Sikh?,Calcutta Male Vocal Choir,New Image Muffins,Check Please - Rash,What does it mean to be a Hindu?,Smita Smitten,Cinema Ad,Going For An English,Check Please - Mo
Part 2 of 2. To get Gussie to propose to Madeline Jeeves slips a little something into his orange juice before he presents prizes at the grammar school. Unfortunately, so does Bertie. Things go downhill from there when Bertie rings the fire bell.
Encouraged by Anna, Lucy considers whether a breast augmentation is for her.
Del Boy gets religion when the Madonna at the local church is seen to shed tears. But why does she only cry when it s raining, and where did that lead in Del s garage come from?
Two tough detectives are required to go undercover at a monastery. Unable to find any, the Super employs Briggs and Louis.
Michael announces that his girlfriend is pregnant, and she ends up moving in with them after her deeply religious parents throw her out, but it turns out that they were not as religious as everyone thought.
The Off-Roaders go shark fishing, Bob Fleming talks to Clive Tucker about carpenter s tools, Indecisive Dave discusses the England team, Unlucky Alf has a bad dream about a pools win, Chanel 9 advertises the Orgazma Gizmo and Poula Fisch has a shocking we
One of Britain s best-loved heart-throbs visits Ben s surgery and although the mere mention of his name sends Susan weak at the knees, Ben is singularly, at first, unimpressed.
Mike and Alison reach boiling point over the BandB. Julian aims to prove he is more selfless than people think. A new addition triggers frightening flashbacks for Robin.
The Harpers plan to redecorate their house, however, with Nick taking instructions from "The Naked Chef" rather too literally, and Janey s boyfriend spending the night in her room without her parents permission, it appears that work will never get starte
Lou and Andy visit the seaside, and there is a new member at Fat Fighters.
One of Ben s patients, while under anaesthetic, admits to killing his wife. Susan, currently overdosing on murder mysteries, decides to turn sleuth in an effort to expose the killer but then gets involved in a cover-up of her own.
To impress Lucy, Lee starts training for a 10 kilometre Fun Run only to injure himself immediately. In an effort to hide the injury from Lucy, he gets himself a secret sports massage, but this just leads to more trouble.
There is excitement in the canteen when news of a royal visit to the factory comes through. Nobody s very sure who s coming - Princess Anne doesn t do factories, Prince Edward does theatres - but they re all getting into a flap. When it turns out it s som
Frank s drinking becomes a problem and forces Lee and Lucy to reassess the living arrangements in the flat.
When Janey has to sit with a poorly Kenzo, Ben volunteers to look after one of her elderly care clients, Harry, a man who seems to have been around but is not allowed out else he will go walkabout. However Harry encourages Ben to join him for a night on t
Some might say that Lee and Lucy were foolish to try to buy tickets to see Oasis in concert, because when they lose their place in the queue, they start to blame each other.
An undercover assessor for Cavitex, posing as a patient, leads to Ben having to attend a retraining course, and to make matters worse, Roger is also attending.
As George and Janet are now an item, things move on for them and it s time to meet Janet s parents. But Janet s mother knows what she wants for her daughter - smooth, oily Dr. Piers, not weird George. Janet is a bag of nerves and even more so that George
George and Janet are loading their groceries into their car when they hear Mrs Raven yelling at the triplets as she s loading her groceries. The trolley man loses control of his trolleys on the ramp of the car park and they head straight for Mrs Raven.! As s
To prove how trendy he is, Ben accompanies an embarrassed Michael to a gay club, where he gets chatted up by the adoring Rupert, who follows him home and sends him flowers. It s down to Susan to rescue her husband - and wangle herself a free holiday at th
Kate and Lee are forced to take in a lodger, a surly 14-year-old boy called Nicky. Lee s attempts to bond with the teenager prove less than successful, while Tim and Nicky discover they have quite a lot in common. Meanwhile, Kate tries to persuade a carni
When Ben and Susan have some problems in the bedroom that start to drive them apart, Abi thinks she may be at fault, but she has her own problems to deal with.
Briggs and Louis masquerade as the manager and trainer of a boxer as they investigate a steroid that promotes raw aggression - and enhances sexual prowess.
George and Arnie become the subject of an investigation by the Immigration Department.
MI5 gets wind of a novel about to be published called ""The Coldest of Wars"" that s going to ""blow the lid off MI5"". When Peter reveals that his wife Sarah, who works for a publisher, has just been reading a manuscript by the same name, he and Dexter a
Vicky Pollard is in trouble with her teacher, while Emily Howard visits a pub and finds an admirer.
After 30 years of watching and waiting, Superintendent Cottam ropes the boys into helping him catch notorious bullion thief, Ronnie Richardson.
Preparations are afoot in the Harper household for the arrival of Sylvie, a French exchange student. Nick is keen to establish entente cordiale, but Janey is wary of the Parisian beauty. Meanwhile, Ben meets a prospective employee who does little to put h
Tim s 94-year-old grandmother dies. Kate accuses Lee of not being in touch with his emotions when he fails to tell her. As penance he sees an expensive psychotherapist, who gets a bit too close to the truth. Tim, flirts with Kate, less than successfully,
Daffyd is astounded to discover that someone else has bought his copy of Gay Times.
The Fat Sweaty Coppers try to solve a burglary, Ron Manager talks about Ryan Giggs, Unlucky Alf has an accident with a cricket ball, The Unpronounceables have trouble with some names, Chanel 9 advertises the Kitchen Gizmo, Prof Denzil Dexter does an exper
After Fowler drunkenly admits to having kissed Habib during a pub quiz match, Dawkins begins to suspect the two of having an affair behind her back when Grim enlists Fowler and Habib s help in catching a criminal via entrapment.
Penny and Stephen arrive with news that they are moving to Spain and building a dream house. Lionel starts to worry about his future money situation and asks Alistair for some financial advise.
In order to awaken Abi s interest, Susan suggests Roger should make her jealous and despite Ben s protests, tries to find a date for him.
A family visit to the World War Two war graves in Normandy unearths a piece of family history that is best left buried.
Lionel gets some suggestions for improvements to his script for the miniseries. Jean and Lionel argue over her retirement that has yet to happen. Later they go out to the country house to see some of the filming for the miniseries.
When Lucy decides it is time to have a baby, she is surprised to find the whole family taking a personal interest in the conception.
Gus wants Sally to interview the Prime Minister when she comes to the studio, but Alex and George want Henry to do the interview. When an electrician fuses the lights the interview is called off. After Damien fakes another report, George threatens to sack
Ben and Susan look forward to a night out in a town where nobody knows their names when they visit daughter Janey, who is away at university. Booking into a hotel under the names of Johnny Studd and Delores de Large, the stage is set for a night full of s
Its spend, spend, spend, as George finds out about credit cards. Janet to the rescue, as she uses baby Ollie s powers to predict future lottery numbers to pay for George s spending habit,
Susan s new boss has some funny ideas about the tourist business, but when she invites him to the family home for dinner in an effort to change his views, the unexpected happens.
A curvaceous Ultronian appears, claiming to be George s fiancee. Xil learns to speak English when speaking to Tyler, she realises that she can learn from him. She does so and picks up his (local) accent. Meanwhile, Mrs Raven asks for a better deal for the