The Harpers star in a documentary about family life as part of Abi s latest college assignment. Susan is happy to present a facade of domestic bliss and dispense cookery tips along with relationship advice. Ben, however, is more concerned with catching a
Stephen plans a surprise anniversary party for Penny but, mixes up the dates. While Jean and Lionel argue about being ""engaged"".
Gus brings in a stress therapist to interview the staff and after a group session, a fight breaks out between Dave and Henry, so Gus fires the therapist. Dave persuades Henry to put money into a racehorse which turns out to be rubbish.
Lee and Lucy object to the school lollipop man handing out lollipops to the kids.
It s Ben s birthday, and everyone seems to have taken his request for no fuss literally, neglecting to buy him any presents. Janey is home for the weekend with a new friend, but nobody is sure of the nature of their relationship.
After a round of golf with Barmy Fotheringay-Phipps, Bertie find trouble in the form of Bobbie Wickham, first involving hot-water bottle piercing, then by giving away Aunt Agatha s dog to a broadway producer. Meanwhile Tuppy s become infatuated with an Op
Janey desperately wants to keep her new man under wraps, while a suspicious Ben tries to expose an affair between Susan and a client.
It s Mr and Mrs Dawkins 40th wedding anniversary. They re planning a party and don t want George to come.! George wants to be more thoughtful and smarter, so he flies to Ultron and asks for a cure for stupidity. They give him a pork flavoured snack. Now Geor
Lionel fears he s losing his strength. So when a stalker starts following Sandy home he decides to show he can take care of the situation. Turns out it s just a love-sick teenager following her.
When Mike and Alison consider selling Button House to a hotel chain, the ghosts come up with some get-rich-quick schemes to help the cash-strapped couple.
Janet does not realize that the Irish hypochondriac who s come to see her at the health centre is actually the famed superhero Thermoman, who saved her life while she was vacationing in Arizona.
The will-they-won t-they tension reaches new highs in this epic series finale for Christmas that sees Lucy and Lee in previously uncharted emotional waters.
Habib falls for a fireman named Gary, much to Goody s jealousy, while Fowler finds himself pestered frequently by a man who claims to have committed impossible, solved or extremely historical crimes, much to DI Grim s amusement, until a terrorist begins m
Jean wants to get on the Internet. Allistar makes an annoucement which leads to his reconcilation with Judy. Meanwhile Harry breaks his leg and that leads to his reconcilation with Sandy.
Judy and Alistair are no longer seeing each other neither are Sandy and Harry. So Jean decides to cheer them up. Alistair comes around to see Lionel but, Jean thinks he s there to see Judy. Jean worries that Judy will think that she was meddling so she te
Vicky Pollard tells her social worker that she has swapped her baby for a Westlife CD.
Given that he used to have lots of girl-friends, when Michael comes out as gay, Ben is perplexed but determined to be supportive. Susan is just annoyed that Michael told Ben first.
When Tim joins a band at work and Lucy falls for the lead guitarist, Lee becomes jealous, and decides that if he can t beat them he should join them.
Lee s father turns up at the flat unannounced. This is the man who walked out of the family home when Lee was four, never paid his maintenance and ate Lee s goldfish. Lee wants him out of the flat but Lucy tells him that the only way forward is to forgive
Peter starts having nightmares about being tortured by enemy spies. At the office, Peter is asked what he knows about a Dr. Volganyn. Peter has read a paper by this scientist theorizing about an invisible radio system - a completely undetectable listening
After signing up on a social networking site, Susan starts getting messages from an old flame. Meanwhile, Michael finds out their house is cursed and Abi is convince it is haunted.
Suspended after an unfortunate incident involving a suspected bomb in a briefcase, Briggs and Louis decide to gain favour by nicking some serious East End villains.
Alison and Mikes neighbour spots a business opportunity which sparks all out war between them. The Captain makes a discovery and the Ghosts find a surprising new friend.
Nick wins an old car in a poker game, and intends to break it up for parts. Ben takes it over and decides to restore it to its former glory, but he is about as good an engineer as Isambard Kingdom Brunel was a dentist.
Piers get a new Mercedes. George works hard to buy Janet a car and Arnie gets his powers back.
A missing toy keyring causes a rift between Lee and Lucy and best friends, Toby and Anna.
With a mixture of civic pride and sense of community, Susan decides to run for the council. As a result of this and Michael s new pet, Ben is tempted to run for the hills.
While Ben and the gang are at pub quiz, Ben becomes angry when it is brought to his attention that someone is cheating and he decides to take matters into his own hands. However, his bite might not match his bark.
Janey starts an affair with a dentist whose charm rapidly captivates the rest of the females in the Harper household, while Michael s latest scam eventually puts everyone at risk.
Sketches:Mrs I Can Make It At Home - Italian,Six Million Rupee Man,Gay Son,Mrs I Can Make It At Home - Cheese,Pet Cow Montage,Mrs I Can Make It At Home - Casualty,Uncle Fixer - Holiday,I Know Him Too Well (song),Uncle Fixer - Money
While Ben is away, Susan goes to dinner with a wealthy art collector after her boss tells her to do whatever she has to do to sell art. Meanwhile, Grace is gathering her own collection, and Roger gets ready to pop the question.
When the ghostly visions return to haunt Alison, Mike must reassure her that there is a rational, medical explanation “ a comforting theory about which he could not be more wrong.
With Pats family coming to commemorate his death, Pat begs Alison to pass on a message from beyond the grave, while she attempts to befriend the new builder.
Rodney meets Vicky, a seemingly impoverished artist who it transpires is the daughter of the Duke of Maylebury. Having obtained a pair of tickets to the sold-out production of Carmen, Rodders seems to have deeply impressed Vicky. ...
Gus tries to get Alex on his side in order to pressurise George to censor a story about a chemical spillage from a company owned by Sir Roysten. Dave updates the obituaries but Henry accidentally sees his and gets upset.
Susan, Ben and the children travel to a family funeral in Leeds. In addition to reservation problems at the hotel, Nick s shameless liaisons with the hotel maid and Susan s inappropriate behaviour at the funeral add up to a fraught weekend.
Ben gets his hopes up that finally one of his kids will move out when Nick decides to get his own apartment; unfortunately, as always for Ben, every silver lining has a cloud.
The arrival of a little bundle of joy with superhuman powers has made life even more stressful for George and Janet. Meanwhile, Dr Piers s TV career appears to be on the up after he appoints a new agent
After Lucy suffers a mild indiscretion whilst drunk and claims to have no memory of the event, she and Lee embark on an experiment with a bottle of home-made potato hooch to prove once and for all that you can remember what happens when you re mashed.
Lucy finds herself working on a Government initiative encouraging men to regularly check themselves for lumps. Eager to please Lucy, Lee follows the campaign s advice and discovers something he wasn t expecting.
Del s tampered with the sunbed controls and Rodney s seeing red - literally! His face is done to a turn. He ll hardly wow Trigger s niece, Lisa, with his handsome good looks now, which leaves the way pretty clear for Del himself. But revenge should certai
Sergeant Dawkins leaves for a break with some nature-loving activists, but during this time, they get into a feud with the police for their extreme methods, forcing Dawkins to choose between their arrogant leader, Stallion, or Fowler.
Susan has taken to asking an increasingly disturbed Michael for advice on make-up and clothes now that Janey has left for university. The arrival of Ben s cousin s daughter in the Harper household could provide a solution - but Ben is reluctant to give up
A double of George named Hilary arrives to take George s place while he s away at an advanced super heroic refresher course. Hilary is still in training and is replacing George for 72 hours as part of his field training. Hilary goes into the clinic and
Briggs and Louis are assigned a case protecting the eggs of a newly-discovered breeding pair of red kites. Teir lack of enthusiasm soon turns to panic as the eggs are stolen.
Susan attends a neighbour s book club. Michael runs a booking agency exclusively for Roger, while Ben books a seat on the sofa but gets a new assistant too close to home.
It s George s 327th birthday, Arnie asks George if he told Janet about what happens to Ultronians after their 327th birthday. Janet soon finds out, George starts to age ! It seems his body is worn out and he needs a new one. George selects 3 replacemen
When Lee joins Facebook for the first time and makes contact with an ex-girlfriend from twenty years ago, Lucy is less than pleased.
Whilst Susan is away Ben takes part in a police identity parade, where he is picked out as being a mugger and remanded in a cell with hard cases Carl and Terry. They hire their brief to get him released but later turn up at his house, wanting to lie low,
Ben goes to a reunion of old school friends and is horrified to find that someone he never liked is now a millionaire. Elsewhere, Nick has found a new unconventional way of earning money.
After years of chilly relations with the Vishwani government, the Foreign Office (and MI5) are invited to the embassy for a formal evening, now that the government has changed hands (MI5 has been asked ""in the new spirit of openness"" to bug the embassy)
When a documentary team comes to Button House to investigate a historical assassination plot, Alison and the ghosts are shocked to discover that it involved one of their own.
A mysterious visitor arrives at Button House with a revelation that leaves Alison reeling. Mike has an epiphany on his first day at a new job, which causes Julian to remember his first day as a ghost.
Lee and Tim decide to try and throw Lucy a 30th birthday party but they both have different ideas. Lee is not happy when Lucy shows up at the party with a man and decides to try and get rid of him.
Susan tries to fix Michael up with a new girlfriend called Suzanne, but the similarity doesn t end in the name. Meanwhile, Ben starts a career as a property developer but squatters may make him regret it.
When Lucy has her handbag stolen from right under Lee s nose, he feels the need to prove his manliness over and over and over again.
Thermoman liberates the stolen Mona Lisa from an art thief s clutches, but comes under suspicion from Scotland Yard when he cannot explain its presence in his flat.
Can the Ghosts get back into Alisons good books after she gives them the biggest telling off of their lives/deaths? Alison and Mike learn that relaxation is harder than it looks.
After witnessing Trigger s unexpected success with his date from a local computer dating agency, Del fancies his chances of having some too. He duly enrolls, and sets out to meet his blind date at Waterloo Station. All seems to go...
Lee and Lucy look to a career in the movies when they play background elves on the set of a popular mini-TV series, Dragon Castle. Their aspirations to become leading actors, however, are thwarted by their lack of talent.
Janey s announcement makes the Harpers more festive, but complications, of course, set in, beginning with her fiancé
Lucy is stressed. She has an important speech to make at a Recruitment Conference and nobody to help her write it. Lee sees an opportunity to impress her and offers his services but at the expense of Tim, who also thinks he s the best man for the job. Wha
Mary tells Julian how she finally found her voice, while Thomas decides he must finally kick his Alison addiction. Old friends of Mike share the surprising secret to their success.
Ben is unhappy with his lot, but is even less happy with Susan s book-writing house guest. Perhaps the Brotherhood of the Cockerel has the answer.
Thermoman faces his biggest challenge yet. After Janet washes his superhero outfit in biological detergent which make him itch, an book from his home planet says that he mustn t have sex more than once a month. But worst of all, Piers knows George s secre
When the children go away for the weekend, Ben and Susan finally have some time to themselves. Unfortunately, it s been so long since that happened, that they have absolutely no idea how to spend it.
In an attempt to impress Lucy with his intellectual prowess, Lee joins Daisy as a contestant on the TV quiz show Pointless.
George has had very little time to rest.(too many rescues.) Janet urges him to rest. Olly is sick and George keeps flying home to check on him before flying away again. As George tires, he flies slower and a reporter tracks him to the flat where he takes
As a lonely and meaningless retirement beckons after 25 years on the force, the boys are given the task of finding The Black Widow after a series of gruesome lonely hearts murders.
Lee and Lucy are going to a pantomime the following day. Lee gets irritated that Lucy s crush Jason Donovan is starring in it. The night before Lee has a disturbing dream that he s in a pantomime starring of course Jason Donovan.
The Piglet Files - Sweet and Sour Piglet
Inspector Fowler proposes to Sergeant Dawkins so as to help his chances for promotion, but his lack of sensitivity during the proposal prompts her to leave him instead. Fowler tries to find a new woman, but loses his interest when he hears that Dawkins is
Thursday 23rd December 1999: Bren s past has caught up with her and it looks as though she and Tony are off the menu as far as romance is concerned, causing her to contemplate handing her notice in.
Ruth, an Australian friend of Kate s, comes to stay and Lee is persuaded to pretend to be Tim. Lee gets a job handing out leaflets at a shopping centre, but soon falls foul of a local youth.
Susan decides to get another dog but when she is considered unsuitable to adopt by the dog adoption assessor, Susan loses her cool, and as a result, it is Ben who ends up in the doghouse.
Monday 7th February 2000: The new self-clear system does not find favour with Bren, Petula delivers some shocking news, and Tony is making plans.
Sebastian helps with an important visit from the Italian Prime Minister, and Vicky Pollard goes back to school.
Ben s old friendship with a celebrity dentist causes problems, while Susan finds a new friendship at an Albanian airport and her loyalty to Ben is put to the test.
When Susan tries to help out a chronically unemployable Nick, her plan turns out to be disastrous, Janey brings a different boy home every day, and Ben has problems with his assistant.
According to Susan, abstinence makes the heart grow fonder and she decides that she and the girls should abstain from even the slightest physical contact with men for three weeks in order to spice up their sex lives, but will Abi take it too far?
With the BandB gone, Mike anxiously strives to fix their finances, but its April Fools Day, and a distracted Alison is out for revenge. The couple receive some life-changing news.
While Tony is in hospital having treatment, the staff are forced to suffer his formidable replacement.
There is good news for Dennis, and Marjorie Dawes bumps into Paul while out shopping.
Ben s attempt to deposit some money into his bank coincides with someone else s decision to take some out - with the aid of sawn-off shotguns. When Ben decides to act as the negotiator things look bleak for the hostages.
Having run over Mr Casey s dog some years ago, Ben now compounds the misdemeanour by running over Mr Casey himself. Casey plays the sympathy card for all it is worth - and it seems that it may be worth quite a lot.
After Grandad s funeral, Delboy and Rodney are surprised to find that his brother, Uncle Albert, has moved in with them - bringing his nautical nightmares.
Boycie and Abdul pitch a diamond scam to Del Boy, who immediately turns them down. That is until they offer him a £15,000 cut of the estimated £150,000 sale of the stone on the UK market. Del finds himself designated as the courie...
Friday 9th April 1999: The canteen is being painted over the weekend. But when the decorators arrive early, Bren has to cope with all manner of inconvenience.
It s Christmas Eve and the entire family is coming over to enjoy the imminent festivities. Everyone has the best intentions, but stress levels gradually rise, and there s seemingly only a matter of time until an epic blowout.
When Briggs and Louis investigate an attack on a top figure skater, the pair wind up on ice but fail to gain marks for artistic interpretation.
Alisons attempt to win over their posh new neighbours with a swanky dinner party are thrown into chaos by Marys woeful catering and Robins desire to celebrate the lunar eclipse.
Jean trys to help Lionel come up with a plan to get rid of Ms. Flack. While Ms. Flack decides to move away to her sister s.
Having lost their appetite for Food Club, the ghosts trial some new entertainment inspired by Pat. Disaster strikes as Mike and Alison host an important guest at Button House.
When Lee s feckless dad, Frank, announces his engagement, Lee cannot believe that any woman would want to marry him and sets out to find out exactly what is wrong with her.
Alison and Mike are trying to find a semi-harmonious routine with the ghostly housemates of Button House. The ghosts have found a way to make their new situation work for them, while the couple are working towards a new money-making venture.
Bren s mum, Petula, brings shame on the factory when she acquires a new boyfriend.
Ben s uncle Norris dies, leaving him less than he expected, and instead Susan benefits. Later, the wake is held at the Harpers, but will it go smoothly?
Jean s sister-in-law decides to move in with her and Lionel after she finds out her husband is having an affair. Actually he being so secretive because he is planning a surprise anniversary party for her.
Alison and Mike grapple with the latest obstacle to nailing down an event booking, but theyre stymied by the Captains past coming back to haunt him.
To celebrate their anniversary, Lee and Lucy plan a friendly night of quizzing with Toby and Anna in their local pub, but the evening is derailed when neither couple can bear to lose to their partners and the foursome splits into rival teams.
Susan asks Ben to help an old girlfriend of hers, Mona, through a divorce, but nearly causes her own when Mona tells Ben some surprising tales about Susan. Elsewhere, Roger is feeling down until Janey intervenes.
Fowler and Grim clash over their views of handling juvenile troublemakers so they decide to take them on a retreat. Further tension arises when Goody punches a teenage skinhead for racially abusing Habib and is subsequently charged for assault.
When they discover a man living in a tent on their grounds, Alison and Mike, with the ghosts help, learn that they have more to offer this Christmas than they realised.
The Piglet Files - Sex, Spies and Videotape
Ben and Susan take part in Michael s school fundraising auction. However, Ben quickly regrets making a pledge when he spies a former patient with severe halitosis bidding for a double session in his dentist s chair.
Ben starts a one-man anti-cycling campaign which causes chaos in the household. Meanwhile, Susan has Michael photograph semi-naked men for a calendar in order to contribute to her fundraising.
Thermoman reveals his double identity to Janet s parents, in an attempt to gain their favour, but her mother can t keep a secret.
Kenzo s school project about the family gives everyone a chance to look at some of the crazier moments in the Harper history.
George and Janet have a new addition to the family: Cassie. She can see into the future. However, shortly after birth, she has horrible premonitions that everyone on the Northern hemisphere is going to die! Meanwhile, Piers enters for ""I m A Celebrity: G
George is puzzled by the British love of pets - until his mother-in-law s dog explains it all. However, talking to animals is not normal behaviour, and the conversation lands George in hot water
George has some initial trouble getting to grips with the notion of sport when he is asked to join a cricket team, to help Piers out. Mrs. Raven gets intimate with Tyler after becoming convinced that he is her hero Thermoman. Ella belittles Thermoman - wh
Del Boy gets the chance to make a new start (and to become a millionaire) in Australia - fronting Jumbo Mills s used car business.
Dafydd is in denial at the hairdressers while Vicky appears in court.
Susan is bored with her lot and decides to run her life as a single girl again by swapping places with Janey for a week, who takes the opportunity to try running the home with a husband who is less than perfect.
When a German damsel turns up in the Nag s Head, she s definitely in distress - and nine months pregnant at that. Rodney s all beer and sympathy, but Del s got an idea - could this be the answer to Boycie and Marlene s dreams of a child and a golden oppor
After Lionel walks in on Sandy in the bathroom Jean decides to add a second bathroom. But, things don t go as planned.
Lee brings a battered box back from the tip and gets a shock when he opens it in front of Lucy.
Craig, a young Australian, arrives at the house, claiming his mother was at college with Ben and Susan lets him stay in exchange for doing some decorating. Initially irritated by him, Ben starts to worry when it looks as if Craig could be his illegitimate
Social niceties are stretched to snapping point when Lee and Lucy take in a package for their neighbour and inadvertently discover that it contains an embarrassing object that Lee now has to return. That proves to be easier said than done.
Alistair surprises everyone by announcing his engagement to someone he just met named Mercury. Judy s new boyfriend Paul lies to her and she breaks up with him. Jean wishes Alistair and Judy would get back together.
Alison and Mike invite Barclay to discuss the land sale but are quickly forced to play hardball. Meanwhile, the ghosts become fixated on solving the mystery of Kittys death.
In a desperate bid to prove his manliness, Lee joins Tim, Daisy and Lucy on a camping weekend in the middle of a dark spooky forest.
After mixing their drinks at the policemen s ball, Louis and Briggs confront a new horror involving a flasher, a Marquess and the commissioner s wife.
After a night of partying, Alison and Mike scramble to clean up the house for a venue viewing, and Alison tries to find out why the ghosts are acting so strangely.
Ben is appalled to discover that Martin, the benign elderly widower from next door, is besotted with Susan and has built a shrine to her in his kitchen. Whilst Ben has trouble persuading the police, Martin ties Susan to a chair and proposes to her.
Parents Ben and Susan reluctantly agree to let daughter Janey have a party whilst they are away on holiday - and plan to sneak back unnoticed into the house and check up on the children, just to be on the safe side.
When forced to transfer into the Fine Arts Squad, our heroes are despatched to recover the latest artistic creation of enfant terrible Hadyn Smailes - a pair of maracas, a tin of peaches and a fish tank of the artist s own urine.
Lee spends time in the bar with Toby worrying that the woman of his dreams is drifting further away.
The big day at Button House has arrived, but some freak weather disrupts everyones plans.
Susan employs a cleaner, who turns out to be such a treasure that she takes over the cooking as well - much to the family s delight, and to Susan s chagrin.
Rodney s in love with Debbie from the newsagents. Could this mean the end of his dirty magazine fetish? Trouble is she s only 19, and 19 1/2 years ago Del was pretty friendly with her mum...
Andy wants a snake, and unscrupulous hypnotist Kenny Craig has some videos for sale.
George looks into the mind s of people and discovers what they are really thinking. He is not at all happy about it and Janet gets him out of it once again and none too gently.
Alison has invited Lucy to come to Button House for a sleepover, but after a concerning meeting with the solicitor, Alison must work out if Lucy is really who she says she is.
Our heroic couple find out that they re pregnant in this episode. As part of the pregnancy George endows Joyce with Ultronian powers, which she the uses to go about saving the day. The sub plot is Mrs. Raven convincing Piers that he is going to be on ""
Just as Lionel is getting used to his new leisurely lifestyle, Jean steps up her pace at work and home. Jean decides to see a psychotherapist to help her with wanting to stop working but, not wanting to ""retire"".
When the ghosts try to sabotage Alisons makeshift therapy session for Kitty, they unwittingly face their own demons. And Mikes desire to see the ghosts yields surprising results